Echoes of Feeling: Rosegarden Funeral Party on music, healing, and being seen
On September 3rd, Dallas-based darkwave torchbearers Rosegarden Funeral Party will take the A38 stage in Budapest, delivering a visceral performance rooted in heartbreak, survival, and radical compassion. Known for their haunting melodies, raw lyrics, and cinematic visuals, the band opens up about artistic resurrection, vulnerability as power, and the transformative beauty found in facing the darkness. As frontwoman Leah Lane puts it, “If there’s beauty in pain, its name is vulnerability.”
Let’s start with the name: “Rosegarden Funeral Party” is both beautiful and tragic. Where did the inspiration for this name come from? Do you remember the moment you first said it out loud?
I remember the exact moment that I came up with the name. Originally, the band was named Sway and we were very much aiming to be more of a shoegaze band. However, things changed, the music itself and the environment in which it was created. I knew I wanted something more unique and something that referenced several different aspects of the band both in subtle and in more obvious ways. The name was conceived as I was listening to music in my apartment one day. The Bauhaus cover of Rosegarden Funeral of Sores (Originally by John Cale) played and Funeral Party by the Cure followed it – I was simply shuffling music from my laptop on that day. I instantly thought… Oh, I’ve got it. I quickly did a google search to see if there were any other bands using the name and was happy to find that it was free for the taking. The name worked on every level I wanted it to. First, I am a very big fan of John Cale’s work. I grew up listening to and playing in psychedelic bands and I loved that having this in our band name would forever pay homage to those very early and permanent influences on my writing. Following that with a Cure reference brought the name full circle in a way. Calling up on where I have been and moving forward into what I was becoming. On a deeper level, a less obvious level, the name itself describes the music. It’s feminine, the lyrics are highly centered around loss, pain, healing, grief, and mourning, all the while, the music itself is upbeat, quite quick, and a bit dancy. So, the worlds “rose garden” (joined together to make the allusion to John Cale a bit more obvious), “funeral”, and “party” all play their respective and multifaceted roles in defining, not only my influences for the band musically, but emotionally as well.
Your music often explores themes of loss, grief, and redemption. Can you recall a song that was inspired by a specific life experience and served as a form of therapy for you?
All of my songs are inspired by my life experiences and are written in almost blatant honesty. I cannot and have never been able to write from any other perspective than my own personal experience. These songs always begin as my way of coping with or understanding something that I am struggling with. I write them to help myself and I release them into the world hoping that they might help others in the same way that they have helped me. I believe that most of us share very similar pains and understanding that we are not alone helps us to face these moments of despair. Knowing someone out there understands and has been through it too helps tremendously. The National has always been a band that writes from places that appear deeply personal, yet thousands and thousands of people relate to their lyrics. There are countless other examples, that’s just the band that saved my life. My only goal, wish, and prayer for Rosegarden Funeral Party is to help people. You’re not alone in your pain and you’re not only in your healing either. I have such a deep love for our listeners because I feel that Rosegarden Funeral Party offers a very specific experience due to the lyrical content. By listening, many of them are relating, and just as my music might make them feel less alone, by listening they make me feel less alone too. It’s a gift that is passed back for fourth between us. It’s really beautiful. I’m so grateful and so humbled by it.
Your lyrics are poetic, sometimes almost like prose poems. Are there any poets or writers who inspire your songwriting?
My writing is very much like a diary. I’m just trying to get my feelings onto paper. Most of the time my songs begin as improvised sessions with the piano or guitar in a moment of heightened emotion. However, I definitely make a lot of references to other writers I admire in my writing. “Tortured Decline” is a reference to a lyric by White Lies. “You left my hyper heart out on the water”(Salvation and Saving Face) is a reference to a lyric by Matt Berninger of the National. There are writers I admire for their brave honesty, their vulnerability, and their ability to convey feelings that sometimes feel indescribable. I like writers who are raw and use very little overt metaphor. I like to be told the truth, even if it’s ugly. The human experience is oftentimes quite ugly and I like writers who aren’t afraid to say that. Charles Bukowski and John Fante were the first writers I fell in love with, so that craving I have for brutal honesty in literature probably stems there. I feel that hope often shines brightest in the dark. Almost all of the writers that I have a deep connection with write from a place of pain, but in all of them there is resilience, a fight, a spirit, a yearning for something more, all while accepting that the ugliness of life is a part of its beauty.
Your new album, From the Ashes, feels like a deep emotional journey. How does this record reflect your personal and artistic transformation?
From the Ashes changed my life in so many ways. I brought me, well, from the ashes. In the two years between In the Wake of Fire and From the Ashes I had fallen into the darkest time I have yet to experience in my somewhat short life. I was struggling deeply with addiction and abusive relationships that kept me in both a state of survival and numbness. From this came no music. Music had left me too. I didn’t care about expressing myself anymore. I wanted to disappear. I didn’t think it mattered how I felt. There was no yearning for vindication anymore. There was no effort to save myself. I only wanted to forget, feel nothing, and distract myself. A lifeline did come though, by the grace of God. One afternoon I was called by my booking agent and was offered quite a long tour as the direct support band for Night Club. I agreed, of course, as touring was the only aspect of my life that brought me any sort of relief at the time. As the phone call was coming to a close my agent said, “Oh, one more thing, Night Club will be supporting their new record, it would be great if Rosegarden could do the same.” There it was. A reason. I had been told to write and so I would write. Instantly, I was hit with a wave of guilt. It had been over two years since our last release… How could I have let it get this bad? That night I started writing and the words and the melody poured out of me. One song came after the other in the three weeks or so that followed. I did all the pre-production demo’ing with my best friend, Scott White, who played bass and some guitar on the album. He was patient and encouraging. He walked me through the incredibly emotional writing process with such compassion. I am so blessed to have him in my life. Within three weeks the album was written. Within two more weeks the album was recorded. It all came together so quickly because I had finally allowed myself to go there again, the part of myself that I had tried so hard to numb because it just had become too painful. All the while my drummer, Dean Adams, was helping me to rediscover who I am. Helping me to get sober, helping me to process what I had been through, helping me to make music that seemed so far out of reach before his involvement in the band. Dean played an incredible role in helping me achieve the sounds I wanted for these songs. Songs like “Love Like Goodbye” “a Different Kind of Carnage” “First to Cry” and “Like the Rain” would have never been possible without him. Again, I am incredibly blessed to have him in my life and in my music as well. This record is about exactly what I was going through at the time. The songs are not shy about their subject matter. It is an album about moving away from people that hurt you. It is an album about understanding the many different ways that people can hurt you. It is also an album that is sympathetic to the fact that it is not always easy to let people that hurt you go, honestly, I think most of the time its incredibly difficult. Most of all, it is an album about rebirth. It is a new beginning. There will always be a place of pain to write from and I don’t think I’ll ever stop writing from that hole in the center of my chest, but I don’t have to live my life there and neither do you.
Do you have a personal favorite from the album? If so, why that particular song?
It’s really hard for me to pick a favorite, because they all do something very unique. However, there are four songs on the album that taught me a very valuable lesson. “Love Like Goodbye” “a Different Kind of Carnage” “Like the Rain” and “First to Cry” taught me the difference between making the kind of music that you think people may expect or want from you and making music for the sake of yourself and for the sake of art. Those songs in particular gave me back my love for songwriting and thus, restored my connection to myself and, well, my life and reason for it.
Why do you think there is a renewed cult following of the dark music aesthetic of the 1980s? What draws younger generations to the atmosphere of darkwave/goth/post-punk?
I’m not really sure… But, I’m grateful for it. I think like most things in life, its just the cycle. Things come in and out of fashion. However, now that I’m thinking about it a little… Maybe it’s because people want art to reflect their feelings. Maybe they’re seeking comfort in art because we’ve become less and less attached to one another in the real world. So much of life is experienced online these days.
The visual world of Rosegarden Funeral Party is just as defining as your sound. What kind of influences shape your visual aesthetic – films, fashion, other forms of art?
Every music video and photoshoot is its own experience and they’re all pretty all over the place.. The video for “Almost Heaven” was inspired by old Hollywood glamour because I liked the idea of juxtaposing a heavy song with a delicate image. The video for “a Different Kind of Carnage” was inspired by the medieval meets high fashion imagery that surrounded Roxy Music’s final album, Avalon, as that music had such a massive influence on the song. “First to Cry” and “Love Like Goodbye” were intended to show vulnerability and loss in two completely different, but equally obvious ways. I am influenced visually I think by concepts surrounding the music itself. Sometimes, I make videos that have very specific references that only the person I’m writing about will understand…Not that I intended for them to see it, but it’s a part of my healing process, I think. I just have to get the feelings out of me… Visually, musically, it’s all an attempt to convey messages and feelings.
How consciously do you plan your visuals (videos, photos, covers), and how much of it is an organic, instinctive process?
It really just depends. Most of the time the videos are highly thought through, but sometimes I get together with Erin and we just wing it. The video for “Pillar of Salt” was a “Let’s just get together and see what we can come up with” kind of video and it turned out great. Others like “Doorway Ghost” and “Like the Rain” took months of prep work. I have made over 40 music videos with Erin Devany. She has filmed, edited, and directed every single video in the Rosegarden Funeral Party catalog. I think our creative relationship is so strong at this point that we just move on the same wavelength. I think the answer to your question is that it’s both instinctive and conscious, and sometimes it is both at the same time.
Have you received any feedback or heard stories from fans that deeply touched you?
Oh my gosh, yes. Yes, I have and it gives my life its meaning. I cannot convey in words how grateful I am, how blessed I am, and how humbling it is to hear these stories, to know that my music has achieved its purpose; to help. Knowing that I have aided in the healing of hearts that have been broken is my reason for not only making music, but for living. It makes me cry everytime I think about it… I’m crying now as I write this. To know that I have helped people feel less alone… I cannot tell you how grateful I am to be able to help. I really can’t. There just aren’t words strong enough. It is the greatest blessing in my life.
What does the concept of “beauty in pain” mean to you, which often recurs in your work?
Charles Bukowski taught me about beauty in pain. The man, on the surface, is overarchingly negative… He’s an asshole. At first, I hated him. I closed the book and refused to read any further. But, I was encouraged by a friend at the time to just keep reading and so, I did. In all the ugliness of that man, I saw moments of humanity, moments of kindness, moments of vulnerability. Pain is not inherently beautiful and I don’t think that there is beauty in pain itself, but pain makes us vulnerable and that vulnerability is beautiful because it is honest and it is meek. In the vulnerability of pain we find our hope, our humanity, our spirit, our fight, our love… If there is beauty in pain, its name is vulnerability and it shapes compassion.
Do you believe art can change a person? And if so, how has your own music changed you?
In order for art to change you, you have to be open to it. Art helps you realize things about yourself and the world around you, but if you’ve closed yourself off, it might have no effect. Honestly, I believe that you are the only force in the world that can change you. Art helps. You make the difference.
If you could convey one single message to the world, what would it be?
Before the last two songs of every Rosegarden Funeral Party show I tell the audience my message to the world. It’s an imperative part of our live show. I make time to say this without fail, even when it means that songs must be cut from our set, as it is equally important to our music. The message:
“We hope when you see Rosegarden Funeral Party you take away two things from the experience.
The first is that as you go through your life you’re going to meet people who act in ways that confuse you and sometimes they’ll act in ways that hurt you. And although we encourage you to create boundaries with the people that hurt you, will also encourage you to treat those people with love and kindness and tolerance and respect and patience, because they’re going through something that you might not always understand. So, the first part is BE KIND TO EACH OTHER.
The second thing we hope you take away from this is all of that love and kindness and tolerance and respect and patience that you show to other people, it’s equally if not more so important that you show that to yourself, because you are also going through a journey that not everyone is going to understand and we want you to remember to nurture yourself through that journey. And on that note, we want to remind you that your friends love you so much and your family loves you so much and whether that family is blood family or street family they are equally valid.
So, the second part is WE LOVE YOU.
BE KIND TO EACH OTHER. WE LOVE YOU. WE ARE ROSEGARDEN FUNERAL PARTY FROM DALLAS, TX.”
